


Without Limits

by myemergence



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Dildos, Established Relationship, Learning To Communicate, M/M, Overcoming fears, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Plot if you squint really hard?, Praise Kink, Smut, Top Evan "Buck" Buckley, terms of endearment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 10:15:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27349516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myemergence/pseuds/myemergence
Summary: He knows that Buck is open-minded, he’s led a far more adventurous sex life than Eddie has. He’s even hinted at things before, but Buck has always respected those boundaries. Somehow, he still can’t silence that nagging voice in the back of his mind, the one telling him that there’s something wrong about trying those things together. They should be kept separate, private.Confined to a place where Eddie can’t be judged.ORBuck makes a discovery in Eddie's bedroom, opening Eddie up to possibilities of an entirely different experience—sexually and emotionally—with Buck.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 311





	Without Limits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rebeccaofsbfarm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebeccaofsbfarm/gifts).



> For Becca (whose legendary writing skills are a gift to this fandom... is this earning me any points towards a 100k WWII AU? Because it should.). I hope that you enjoy this prompt fill, three months later, happy early birthday!
> 
> Thank you to [marciaelena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marciaelena) for the beta, your help is always appreciated

Eddie never expected to find a partner like Buck. 

They connect in a way that Eddie has only hoped for. Buck’s the only man that Eddie has ever been with, making Buck the more experienced out of the two of them in that aspect. He’s always been really understanding and patient with Eddie. Things are sometimes soft and tender, Buck taking his time with rediscovering every inch of Eddie’s body, watching him come apart beneath him.

Other times, things are more hurried and their mouths are crashing together and they’re tumbling onto the bed, fingers fumbling with buttons and zippers like they’re a couple of teenagers.

When he was with Shannon their sex life had been active enough. Things hadn’t been _bad_ , but Eddie never felt the same passion that he does with Buck. He never felt blinding desire or toe-curling arousal before him. Most of all, he never felt the same acceptance with Shannon that he does with Buck, the opportunity to explore and try new things, even if he’d always silenced those yearnings within himself. 

He remembers the rejection clearly on one particular night, the _only_ night that Eddie had ever really tried to push the boundaries and try something different with her. He’d imagined that it would be something new and exciting, to keep their sex life interesting and fun. Instead, it ended with Eddie being embarrassed and unwilling to explore again. 

He knows that Buck is open-minded, he’s led a far more adventurous sex life than Eddie has. He’s even hinted at things before, but Buck has always respected those boundaries. Somehow, he still can’t silence that nagging voice in the back of his mind, the one telling him that there’s something wrong about trying those things _together_. They should be kept separate, private.

Confined to a place where Eddie can’t be judged.

* * *

“Hey, sweetheart?” Eddie hears Buck call from the bedroom as he walks out to the living room, joining Eddie where he’s seated on the couch. 

“Hmmm?” They’ve been enjoying a quiet evening at Eddie’s house. Christopher is having the time of his life at a sleepover, which means they have the entire night and the house to themselves. Eddie spent the majority of the day working on odd projects, and trying to get things fixed up around the house.

Since Eddie has a limited number of nights where he doesn’t have to worry about Christopher, Buck insisted that he relax while he tidied up. His thoughtfulness and the way that Buck has always been with Christopher is one of his favorite things about his boyfriend. He looks at Christopher and talks to him in a way that nobody else ever has.

“What’s this?” Buck’s voice pulls Eddie out of his thoughts and he looks up from his book, nearly dropping it when he sees what Buck’s holding. 

He takes a breath and tries to collect himself before answering, but his voice catches nonetheless. “I-I’m not sure,” Eddie lies, closing his book and setting it aside. 

“You’re not sure what this is? So it… just appeared in the bedroom?” Buck stands in the doorway with a purple dildo in hand, raising an eyebrow at him in disbelief.

Eddie feels his face instantly heat up. He clutches his hands at his sides in silence, his palms quickly becoming clammy, like he’s been caught doing something wrong. 

“I— what were you looking for that you were in there?”

Buck drops next to him on the couch. “I was looking for those candles we used last time Chris was away. Thought you might have thrown them in there.” There’s a long stretch of quiet that only adds to Eddie’s unease, and he feels Buck’s thigh press against his from where he’s sitting beside him. Usually his steady presence is comforting, but tonight it’s making him feel unsettled instead. “I thought you said you weren’t willing to try with toys?”

Eddie groans miserably before he scrubs his hands down over his face, wishing that he could just disappear and pretend this wasn’t happening.

“Eddie?”

“It’s _nothing_ ,” Eddie says, and he can feel Buck’s eyes on him, followed by a gentle squeeze of his thigh. Reluctantly, he turns his head to look over at his boyfriend. He searches Buck’s face, half-expecting to find disgust or disappointment in him, but he doesn’t find any. Eddie whistles out a breath, trying to keep his anxiety boxed away in the past, where it belongs.

“You wanna tell me why you’re acting all freaked out about this?” Buck leans forward a little, searching his eyes still.

Eddie knows it shouldn’t be this hard. That any other partner of Buck’s wouldn’t be so fucking _awkward_ about this. He barely has the presence of mind to take a breath before he starts gasping for air in front of Buck. He tries to talk to Buck, then, because he deserves his honesty and so much more than that.

“Because it’s...”

“It’s what?”

“I-I don’t know, Buck. Because it’s something you do by yourself, y’know, not… _together_.”

Buck’s gaze hasn’t moved from his face and Eddie feels Buck’s hand shift from his thigh to gently stroke his thumb against his wrist before finally taking hold of his hand and linking their fingers together. “It doesn’t have to be,” Buck says.

Eddie swallows, trying to push down the unease that is trying to claw out of him. Reminding himself that Buck isn’t Shannon, he mentally admonishes himself for the panic that he’s feeling over talking about this. This man who is the love of his life and who hasn’t ever hinted at rejecting him before. Things with him have always been inherently good, just like Buck. 

He tries to ignore the anxiety that has him feeling like he’s going to burst at the seams. “Uh, what?” Eddie says dumbly. His dark eyes linger on Buck’s hand that’s covering his. Studying their linked fingers, Buck’s larger hand encompassing his own, Eddie feels as if they’re one solid unit, and if Buck took his hand away maybe he’d cease to exist too.

“Eddie,” Buck says calmly, giving his hand a firm squeeze. A breath whooshes past Eddie’s lips as he understands Buck’s wordless request to look at him. Eddie shifts his gaze to find Buck studying him with a look of compassion, or at least of wanting to understand. “What’s going on in your head?”

Swallowing hard past the lump in his throat, Eddie’s eyes settle on the depths of blue staring back at him, feeling a familiar warmth settle in his stomach. “I’ve never been with someone that wanted to… experiment or _share_ these kinds of things. I—” he pauses, thinking of how he can explain himself. Buck is so good with talking to him about everything in their lives. His strong suit is communication, being honest and open. And Eddie’s just not the kind of person who is that open naturally, one of his many shortcomings.

Yet, Buck doesn’t roll his eyes at Eddie’s inability to explain himself. Instead he just stays there, his presence a fixed point, waiting for the moment when Eddie is able to conjure up the words. 

“Shannon never wanted those things… to experiment together. There was only this one time that I tried,” Eddie says carefully, Buck’s hand on his comforting and grounding. Somehow the awkwardness and shame from that day with Shannon feel overwhelming, an embarrassed flush creeping into his cheeks. “It, um, ended really badly.”

“And you’re afraid that’s what’s going to happen with us? That it’s going to end badly?” Buck’s expression is soft, his eyes ocean-deep with understanding.

“I know that’s ridiculous,” Eddie chuckles awkwardly. He makes a move to pull his hand away, but Buck holds on to it with a firm grip.

“I’m not her, and I can promise you that no matter what you wanted to try with me, it wouldn’t end badly. I know when you’ve been through certain things it’s hard to disconnect from an idea that someone put in your head, especially when it’s about you,” Buck says. “But the idea of you fucking yourself with a dildo is really hot.” His voice sounds thick and heavy as the implication of his words pulse through Eddie’s veins. His heart rate picks up speed, and an uneven breath puffs past his lips. 

Buck’s tongue darts out, wetting his lips as he finally releases Eddie’s hand.

“Are you…” Eddie’s voice trails off before Buck closes the distance between them, cutting off the question. Eddie returns the soft press of Buck’s lips 

There’s that nagging voice in the back of his mind that tries to tell him that he’s wrong, that Buck couldn’t possibly mean what he’s said. 

But he trusts Buck with his life, and he knows Buck wouldn’t lie to him. 

Buck pulls back, putting some space between them. Leaning forward, Eddie chases Buck’s lips with his own. Buck presses a hand against Eddie’s chest to stop him, eyes dancing with amusement. “Am I what?”

“Sure. Are you sure,” Eddie stammers.

“I think it’s safe to say that I’m definitely sure.” The words barely register before Buck grips Eddie’s face between his hands, tugging Eddie onto his lap. He doesn’t have the chance to argue, but he can _feel_ Buck’s interest pressing into him from where he’s straddling his lap. Buck’s thumbs brush against the stubble that peppers his jawline before he drops his head back. “God, Eds.”

Eddie studies the long column of his throat, alternating kisses and light nips at the sensitive spots there before he licks over the reddened skin. Slowly, he grinds his hips down against Buck’s, a low groan slipping past his lips. “What do you want?” 

Buck makes an incoherent sound then, as if the question causes something to break inside of him. “I want to watch you fuck yourself.” Buck pauses, as if he’s unsure of what Eddie’s reaction will be. He seeks out Eddie’s gaze and grinds his hips up against Eddie’s this time, making sure that he’s listening, his voice rough with unfiltered urgency. “ _Please_.”

And how can Eddie say no when Buck’s eyes are burning into him like this, alight with desire. Buck’s fingers curl against his hip, creating more friction as they grind against each other again. Eddie lets out a ragged breath, kissing Buck’s exposed neck again as he moves to get up. Somehow this man is able to seamlessly obliterate the walls that he’s built up, leaving Eddie vulnerable and open in ways he can only be for him.

He waits for Buck to get up from the couch, too. “Can’t forget this,” Buck murmurs as he grabs the toy from where he’d left it earlier. When Eddie’s cheeks flush at that, Buck doesn’t say anything, grinning back at him playfully before trailing him to the bedroom. Tossing the dildo onto the bed, Buck pulls his shirt over his head before discarding it mindlessly onto the floor. 

Eddie’s eyes linger on his boyfriend, drinking in the sight of him as he begins to strip, his heart racing at the thought of Buck _watching_ him. They’ve had sex so many times before, and yet somehow the thrill of Buck with his hand on his own cock, watching Eddie fuck himself with a dildo sends an unfamiliar jolt thrumming through him. An anticipation of the unknown that he hasn’t felt since they first got together.

Buck steps closer to him, grabbing carelessly at the hem of Eddie’s shirt. “I’m gonna need you to take this off,” Buck says, his voice low. Tugging it over his head, Buck drops it into the growing pile of clothes on the floor before playfully pushing Eddie backward onto the bed. Eddie lets out a startled laugh as he bounces slightly on the mattress under him.

“Come here,” Eddie says, grabbing Buck by the belt loops and tugging him down until he’s hovering over him. Without any further encouragement, Buck’s lips clash against his in a deep kiss that leaves him breathless. Balancing his weight up on one of his arms, Buck drags the other hand down Eddie’s bare chest, stopping briefly when he reaches the rough edge of denim. He hesitates for only a moment, long enough to gaze down at Eddie beneath him, dropping light kisses down his chest, and Eddie shivers under the light brush of Buck’s lips. “Buck.” 

Eddie’s heart races when Buck looks up at him, blue eyes dark with arousal as his hand slides down over the front of his jeans to cup his hand around Eddie’s half-hard erection. “God, Eddie, do you even know how badly I want to see you spread out on the bed, fucking yourself?” Buck’s voice is rough, and Eddie ruts against his hand. “You’re gonna look so good for me.”

“I wanna do that for you, baby,” Eddie murmurs. All of his earlier hesitation seems to have faded away, almost as if it was never even there to begin with. Swallowing thickly, Eddie watches as Buck pops the button of his jeans and helps Eddie slip out of them. The rest of their clothes are tossed aside mindlessly, Eddie situating himself in the middle of the bed as he grabs the lube from his nightstand. The nervous energy isn't returning like he expected, Buck’s gaze comforting rather than unnerving as his eyes maintain their singular focus on him.

Wordlessly, Buck takes the lube from Eddie’s hands. He crawls down his body and kisses the inside of his thighs with aching tenderness. “How about I help you get ready,” Buck suggests, continuing the trail of kisses.

“Please,” Eddie begs, a choked noise dying in the back of his throat. Buck slicks his fingers before pressing against his entrance, dropping reverent kisses down Eddie’s stomach as he begins to work a finger inside of him. Taking his time as Eddie writhes on the bed, Buck adds another finger, carefully stretching him open.

“How’s that feel?” Buck murmurs against his skin, nipping at Eddie’s soft flesh before laving his tongue over it. Eddie gasps, squirming with Buck’s rhythmic movements when he adds a third finger, this time curling them against Eddie’s prostate at the end of the stroke.

“I’m ready.” It takes every ounce of concentration that Eddie’s able to conjure up to force the words out, his breaths coming out in uneven rasps, his fists twisting in the sheets. Buck pauses as he takes in the view of Eddie laid out beneath him, slowly withdrawing his fingers and sitting up on the bed. He grabs the dildo, offering it to Eddie with a coy smile, his eyes bright with mischief. 

To Eddie’s credit, he only hesitates for a moment before shifting up on the bed to prep the dildo with lube. He tries to focus on his own movements despite the heat that’s pooling in his stomach. His eyes track Buck when he moves to the space at the corner of the mattress, allowing Eddie more room. Spreading himself open, Eddie eases the toy in, causing a deep groan to slip past Buck’s lips. “That’s it, sweetheart,” he rasps.

With steady movements, Eddie fucks the toy into himself, watching as his boyfriend’s eyes darken. His hands rest on the comforter as he watches Eddie, breath hitching when Eddie brings his hips down, sinking the toy deeper inside of himself. “It’s…” Eddie says breathlessly, not able to tear his eyes away from Buck’s. “I want to watch you, too. Touch yourself,” he requests, Eddie’s gaze moving from Buck’s eyes, following his hand as it drops down to briefly squeeze his cock. Picking up the lube and flipping it open, Buck warms some in his hands, his dick gliding with ease inside his grip then.

Their hands move in sync even as Eddie’s head drops back against the pillows and he can’t see Buck anymore, his rhythm steady. A light sheen of sweat makes Eddie’s skin slick, tousled hair clinging to his forehead. “It’s never felt like this before,” Eddie admits, his chest heaving as he lifts his head up from the pillow to meet Buck’s gaze. As good as it feels, as much of a turn on as it is to watch Buck like this, Eddie wants to _feel_ him, and that yearning overwhelms him, squeezing the breath from his lungs. “I want you to fuck me, Buck, _please_.” 

Without saying anything, Buck drops his hand away from his cock and climbs up the bed towards Eddie. His lips curl up into a smile, and he replaces Eddie’s hand on the dildo and fucks the toy into Eddie, bottoming it out with the motion. Eddie groans, and he knows that he sounds needy, but he can’t stop the noise from spilling out of him. “Not with the dildo,” he moans despite himself. “I want your dick. _Fuck_.” 

Buck nearly growls at Eddie’s request, gingerly pulling the toy out and setting it aside. “God, Eddie, you’re doing so good,” he praises as he positions himself between Eddie’s legs, his movements slow despite Eddie’s entrance still being slick. Stopping with the head at Eddie’s entrance, he waits for any signal from Eddie that it’s okay to move. 

“Please,” Eddie begs, his hand moving up and tangling in Buck’s curls, pulling him down for a searing kiss. His entire body feels overstimulated and he knows it won’t take much for Buck to push him over the edge.

Buck straightens up as he kneels on the bed, pulling Eddie closer by his thighs and using them for leverage to fuck into him. Reaching a hand out, Eddie begins to stroke his own cock in time with Buck’s thrusts. “Fuck, Eds.” He recognizes the gravelly edge to Buck’s voice and knows he’s close, too. Snapping his hips forward, Buck chases his release and Eddie feels the moment that Buck’s warmth fills him.

Eddie strokes himself a few more times until his body goes slack with his release, the weight of Buck’s body against him grounding as he tries to catch his breath. Buck leans forward, pressing a kiss to his sweaty forehead before pulling away and disappearing to get them washcloths to clean up with. Smiling tiredly, he feels the mattress dip when Buck returns, and he takes the offered washcloth, cleaning himself up. 

Once they’re both clean they fold back the comforter together and climb between the crisp sheets, and Eddie immediately moves into Buck’s space.

He thinks of what had been an insurmountable fear before, the nagging trepidation that he’d felt in all of the days before this one. Curling into Buck’s side, his fingers brush against the tattoo on his chest before he finally peers up into the face of the man that he loves. “Thank you,” Eddie murmurs thickly. “I love you.”

Buck’s arms wrap around him, urging him closer. “Love you, too. Promise me next time you’ll talk to me.” 

Eddie nods his head in agreement. “I promise.”

Enveloped in the comfort of Buck’s arms around him, Eddie’s lulled to sleep by the sound of Buck’s heartbeat, and he dreams of all of the days that lie ahead for them. He dreams of true love, love without boundaries or stipulations, unconditional in all the ways that Eddie never thought he’d get the chance to experience, and that now is somehow his.


End file.
